50 things i hate

I'm feeling annoyed & hungover so here's a hate list, no particular order & not a top 50, just 50.

pug dogs
nazi’s
stupidity
hangovers
mental retardation
romance novels
bush
getting older
pedophilia
arctic cold fronts
maggots
saying ‘its for the children’ to restrict freedoms
not being able to swear like a sailor at work
willful ignorance
most children’s programming
psycho-drama
being poor
christian coalition
clear channel
urban relocation programs
work
lack of space aliens
good shows being cancelled
politicians
asphalt
basketball
sports bars
boy bands
failing education
corporations
pollution
raping of natural environments
clear cutting
any zealot
people who don’t get sarcasm & irony
people who can’t laugh at themselves
cruelty to animals
the FCC
theocracies
angelina jolies lips
the KKK
humans as a species
mcdonald’s
lists
people who seem to enjoy misinterpreting things
‘theory’ of intelligent design
the drug war
addiction

holy-roller born-again christians
lack of zombies, real, live dead zombies

Fire Poi!

Poi
Originally uploaded by DeHuman8.

I cannot wait to get back out & spin Poi. Today's nice weather is really teasing me with the knowledge that soon, the snow will be gone, and I'll be in the park trying desperately to set myself ablaze. All my arm & leg hair has grown back, with some extra for support, little does it know it only had an icy reprieve, and soon the flaming spheres shall reduce them to foul smelling ash once more! I miss everything about spinning, I think it's the only hobby I have that is so addictive & invigorating all at the same time. (World of Warcraft doesn't hold a candle to Fire spinning.) Much the way the Darwin awards are 'evolution in action' Poi is 'poetry in motion'. I love the way, when I'm trying something new, and it just isn't working, then for a brief wonderous moment....it flows. You can actually feel the moment that you hit a motion right. That single moment lets you know, that soon, the moment will become longer until the moment is spinning you as much as you are spinning it. It is truly amazing how lost you can get in the motion, and the roar of the fire as it passes by your ears. Spring is almost here and with it comes the summer's fire.

-De

P.S.the above image is from http://www.thevenue.org/ .

P.S.S. check out http://www.thevenue.org/firespinning_videos.htm for some great vidoes of what i some day hope to be able to do.

Pledge of Allegence

I pledge allegiance
To the flag
Of the united christian fundamentalist
And to the republicans
On which they stand
One god
Over nation
No liberty
or justice
At all
amen

this post is brought to you by the articles:

Amendment I
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

&

http://www.lex18.com/global/story.asp?s=2989614

-De

A Public Service Announcement

Just to let you all know, there is no god. So you can all breath a little easier knowing that there is no afterlife. You will not suffer millions upon millions of years in eternal torment for eating pork or other nonsense. You are held accountable only by your own self restraint & the restraints put upon you by society. No mighty angel shall hold a sword to your throat for your transgressions. Your sins are for you alone (and occasionally a jury). The only evil you need fear is the evil in yourselves & your fellow man (and maybe a rabid badger or two). So know that this world sucks, not because of a sadistic puppet master lording over all, but because you and I suck. it is all our fault. No one else is to blame (well, maybe bush). So I give credit where credit is due, this world is fucked up because we collectively cannot get our heads out of our collective asses.

Thank you, have a nice day.
-De

Arise my faithful servants!

Back from the deadening. I’ve been absent due to extreme burnout on life. Do you ever get so frustrated with living day in day out in a repetitive cycle? Get up, go to work, deal with bullshit from people you have no desire to be talking to, go home, relax in whatever fashion suits you, go to bed, get up, go to work, deal with bullshit from people you have no desire to be talking to, go home, relax in whatever fashion suits you, go to bed ad-nausium. Only going to work to get money to enjoy the time you are not at work, working more so you have more money to enjoy less time. Fucked up. Nearly everyone is working a job that they can’t stand, the lucky ones can tolerate their jobs. That’s right your LUCKY if you DON’T HATE your means of sustenance. What the fuck. How in the 9 hells can you count yourself lucky for being able to only tolerate fully 23.8% of your life, 35.7% of your waking life sucks! More than 1 out of every three hours sucks. And for what, a handful of paper, painted up like a bunch of dead men? The christian right is abducting our right to not believe as they do, so that we all can be converted to fanatic drones. No, no, don’t think, that is against the law now, for you may see the flaws in our creationism, our idols are the only art that you can now produce, and please don’t forget to pray. What? You don’t pray, well, failure to pray is now a mandatory 5-10 in the federal penitentiary. And that child begot on you by your dad, when he was drunk, and thought you looked o-so cute, well, you’re going to have to have it. But don’t expect help from the government, after all, being a single mom is a sin and the state can’t support that sort of behavior. Hold on one second, there’s a country filled with dirty heathens we’ve got to bomb. What were you saying? Wait, you’re a dirty heathen too, aren’t you? well, well, well, we’ve got wonderful places for you heathens, they’re re-integration camps, they’ll teach you how to be a good christian, we haven’t had a good success rate, but those who fail don’t seem to last too long anyway. But that’s alright, they were destroying god’s green earth by their mere presence.

Anywho, fuck work
-De

this is a strange space

the world is rather too fucked up in my opinion, i think we need to start over on a clean slate, so pipe up if you think everyone you don't like or know should up and kill themselves.

wasting time

it always kinda amuses me the way time becomes ubersubjective sometimes. like when you're waiting for the last 1/2 hour of work to get out it takes well over an hour sometimes, due to your heightened awareness of time. and you can't take your mind off the clock ticking no matter what you do. my knees ache when it rains, well, not ache really but get this funny tingly sensation that is not at all comfortable. it's just under the kneeecaps, and REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING. oh well, what can you do? now i've wasted some of my time, and some of yours, we'll never get that time back it is gone forever, much like every single hour i've ever worked in my life. these hours are not well spent in my opinion, the ends almost dosn't justify the means. but survival instinct kicks in in a funky modern way, telling me a roof is good, food is good, BEER IS GREAT. i like beer, a lot. i hate stupid corporate ploys to make peons think they are important & matter. i hate the fact that so many people buy into it. well really they don't. the higher ups think it works because lower eschelon yes men in middle management tell them it works. the upper eschelons have no real idea how much peons everywhere hate thier jobs.

Monday

Ok so Monday nights seem to be going well, more people are showing up anyway. we had 60-75 people valentine’s day, which considering the crappy weather was pretty good. I dressed properly for a change (it's tough sometimes, since I sometimes have only a few min at home after work) DJ’ing is very strange sometimes. Sometimes you’ll try a new song out and it’ll do well (most of the time they fly like unaided bricks) everyone is dancing having a great time, the next time you play it (hoping for a new song to bring into rotation) it feels like if I turned the volume down you could hear crickets chirping. Some nights people will only dance to tried (and sometimes tired) songs, other nights they want nothing to do with them but new stuff is great (these nights are rare, but i love 'em). There are always some songs that get people out there, but I want to bring more music into the night. Having a limited cash flow doesn’t help with that either, add into the fact that the music stores around have crap for selection. And American set lists of other clubs are playing the same tired crap we are, and the European clubs are so far ahead of us that I don’t even know where to start, or if folks up here would even enjoy it. Ah, well, done moaning about that stuff. I am glad that we are finally getting enough people that the owner is happy, and no longer on our backs about getting attendance up. I need an influx of great, new, danceable, catchy, grinding, harsh, mellow, cool ass music. And I wish people would stop requesting ‘rough sex’ I mean it’s a good dance song yeah, but I have played it OVER 300 times!! All by request. I mean they have more than one song, several just as good or better than ‘rough sex’. WTF?
-De

why is everyone so serious?

Lately I’ve been feeling incredibly socially inept. Like a third wheel everywhere I go. Conversations frequently feel contrived & repetitive, and I don’t feel it’s others, but me. I’m not sure why this is, but it’s been bothering me for sometime now. Now before everyone jumps in with the ‘be yourself & don’t worry’ lines, that is NOT the issue, I’ve never made excuses for who I am, and never worried about public opinion. Or have I started? I’m sick of the same conversation over & over again. I don’t have the energy for it, but my mind feels like it’s rotting maybe from too much alcohol, maybe too much age. I think I need to get some more schooling, that helped last time my mind was rotting. Again with the hands & brain getting un-synced.

But anyhow, conversations are feeling more & more hollow, I’m not sure why. all the jokes have been told & everything witty has been said. Rehashing it again with new people seems pointless. Intellect seems to be falling from the humor as well. I like smart humor, humor that cleverly turns a conversation back upon itself. An ebb & flow, give & take. It takes time too develop this repartois with someone. It’s a form of personal performance art where the only necessary elements are you & whomever you are speaking with. I like my humor too call on current events & past histories as sources. Bring in science when necessary. I want my head spinning so I have to get off the ride to keep from falling over. I miss it, it’s not happening nearly as often as it used to, people are settling for one liners stated & forgotten. There used to be references in conversations the way the beatles references prior albums & songs. Am I remembering wrong, were the references to Athena all in my head? (that hurt I know, it’ll all be over soon my darlings, just close your eyes, relax. pretend you are somewhere, anywhere, but here) is this my nostalgia for an era that never existed? Was it drugs? (many of you are nodding here, I can tell, problem is I wasn’t on drugs aside from alcohol) was my mind fresher, lacking the brain worms? Is the humor swirling around and I’m just not getting it? Now I’m not saying all humor has left, it just seems I used to laugh more.

-De

God Genes

So I was reading an article awhile ago, some scientist somewhere claims to have found ‘the god gene’. Essentially a string of three genes that if all three are ‘on’ then you go into a monastery for a lifetime of contemplation. Or if all three are ‘off’ you have no gods and all idols are false. So here is a funny scenario I though about.

Religious folk tend to breed at higher rates than atheists. (not using birth control helps with this) so given enough time atheists may be bred out. Thus Darwin may, through the theory of evolution, also be bred out. I found it kinda funny anyway. ah, well, fuck it.

Anyway, one thing that is of perpetual annoyance to me is my inability to write what I think. This may make no sense, but when you take into consideration that I am a very slow typer I think it makes more sense. I have to try and slow down my thought process to get the information out. And while my hands are methodically plodding along my mind is racing ahead. When it gets too far ahead, it has to turn around and see where the hands are. Then it takes off again, and rarely in the same direction as it went the first time. It frustrates me, cause I think I, crap, there it goes again wandering down other paths. Anyway today is valentine’s day. Squirrels are funny. But kinda dumb. So what I’m saying is I should learn to type. I make no sense.

The end
Ta-Da
-De

down with the god squad

I hate the idea of god. I hate what his believers do in his name. I don’t believe in god. I do believe god to be a fictitious creation designed to control people. The universe is only self aware in the sense that some life exists that can observe it. That’s it no master plan, no divine right. Get over it. We should be at the point in human evolution where we can put away some of the toys of our childhood. Most people find it foolish to believe in the greek gods in today’s era. The judea god is just as foolish people. I know my words won't change your mind. What little you have left. Something about religious zealotry removes the logic centers from the human mind, generally through years of conditioning. It makes sense, if you voluntarily have faith in something so outlandish, you must gain experience at subduing your own higher brain functions, and like anything unused it atrophies. However they do gain an increased performance in the self-righteous centers. They also excel at justification for atrocities. I hate the fact that religious zealots are taking control of our country. Forcing their misguided beliefs down my throat legislatively. (http://www.theocracywatch.org/) in the words of tom jefferson
"This country, which has given to the world the example of physical liberty, owes to it that of moral emancipation also. For as yet, it is but nominal with us. The inquisition of public opinion overwhelms in practice the freedom asserted by the laws in theory." --Thomas Jefferson to John Adams, 1821.
we haven’t improved that much in some senses.
-De

the shadow knows

OK, so two days after the Dresden Dolls (http://www.dresdendolls.com) show I realize that it was two short, there should be a law that they can play no less than 4-hour sets. Anyway, I drank too much, as was probably apparent to most of my pals, after the show I ended up licking Amanda Palmer’s hand, I don’t think it was my idea, but who can say? Part of the pre-requisite was that I removed my boozy saliva from her hand, I did that at least. But it seemed to lead to a really fucked up dream, and I’m going to relate that dream now, so for all who don’t give a rats ass what my fucked up head produces at night, you can tune out now. For the rest of you brave soldiers, the dream commences:
It started off out side of space (the Portland club, not the known universe) and I was chatting with Amanda Palmer, much like after the show, and I decided to show her a neat trick, you know, impress the stars. (I’m sure every person up on this sort of pedestal LOVES to be impressed with how cool their fan(atics) are.) Anyway, I’ve got this trick that I want to show, so I take off my jacket & flannel, so I’m just in a t-shirt. Then I roll up my forearm skin, much the way you would a long sleeve shirt. Leaving all sorts of cool arm innards exposed, no massive bleeding though. Then I proceed to peel off the skin on my left hand, much like the skin was nothing more than a rubber glove. I then proceeded to inflate my hand, again like a rubber glove, leaving some bloody finger prints on it, I then reach into my left wrist and pinch off a vein(or possibly an artery I can’t tell the difference from looking at my exposed forearm) and tie off the balloon. The hand balloon floats as if filled with helium, and is tethered to my forearm via my blood vessels. I repeat the process on my right hand, and give these morbid balloons to Amanda, and she starts to be pulled into the air, I let out about 15’ of veiny goodness. And then I reel her in. now that I’ve bored you enough with my night wanderings, I feel I can tell you all something, I’m bored.
-De

nevermind

I’m raving like a madman, shouting out disjointed ravings at the mimes who wander past. They start ‘walking in the wind’ for a moment or two before breaking free of my caustic grip. I can almost feel the foam at my mouth dribbling as I snarl and howl meaningless nothings, as if they matter. Eyes burning fever bright with the knowledge only the zealot has, beyond reason, beyond doubt. The mimes fly past vague shadows to preach the teachings to. Don’t even ask what the hell is going on here, know only that all minds are broken somewhere inside. A break to keep all at arms reach on the other side of reality’s illusion. I spit on the random passer by, for they are worth less than nothing. Observing everything while seeing nothing. God I suck! the only thing more worthless than this drivel is the fact that I’m posting it. What sort of desperate plea is this? Another shout into the void. Life will be so much simpler when it’s over. Unless I’m forced to run from carnivorous worms & lizards for all eternity. That would be unpleasant at absolute best. Especially if they had sharpened tongues, tongues that they would slide into orifices to slice off the tender bits from the inside. Ewww, and if the lizards tongues deposited the eggs of the worms, so they’d hatch inside to consume you slowly as you ran from the lizards. That would suck, and not be simpler in the least. But outside of horrors being visited upon your spirit for eternity, life is pretty good.

-De

what's it worth?

You know every thing of worth in my life was free. Not free of my time or my labor but it cost no money. My memories are built entirely on the times I spent with my friends. Not the money I made to spend, hell some of my most enjoyable years were the 4 years of my life where I worked a total of 12months & made in those 4yrs less than 15000, total. Friends are the spice of life the only meter to hold yourself against. Who has led a more successful life? A millionaire with no one, or myself with my good friends? (me rich would be the best of all worlds of course) money is such an inconsequential annoyance in this game of life. I get what I need. I don’t put any real effort into making more, because I don’t care enough to. I most likely never will.

FUCK IT!

I’m a bastard. Not the born out of wedlock type, the other type. You know what I’m talking about. But lately I’ve forgotten that. I’ve been acting like it’s all gonna be OK. Well fuck, we all know that’s a big fucking lie. (side note to people who say ‘if you have to swear then you’ve already lost’…if, in your opinion, a series of phonetics in the form of an adjective automatically devalues a statement then you’ve got MUCH bigger issues to deal with. You fuck)
Anywho, it’s not gonna be OK. The world is so insurmountably fucked at this point that nothing is going to make it better. We’re surround by selfish and greedy on the top and the dregs are the stupid & inept. The stupid & inept breed at such astounding rates, that I foresee a future filled with mouth breathers stacked like cordwood in our urban areas. I myself refuse to breed, I WILL not be so irresponsible as to bring another human life into this cess-pit we call home. (sorry to you breeders out there, but why would you want to bring a child that you will love into such a world?).
So I got pissed off at some dumb cunt the other night, psicron was there beside me when this happened. We were talking about some inconsequential thing (face it EVERYTHING we talk about is inconsequential) and there was some dumb bitch standing beside us. Some how man love came up, and the whore pipes in ‘two boys together is the most disgusting thing there is’ or some such I responded that asphalt was disgusting, she said yes asphalt was disgusting but man on man was the most disgusting thing there is. Fucking piss me off. Now you can tell just from looking at this bitch that she’d been plowed up the ass more than once. So she’s the last one to pass judgment for getting a dick there. So I told her I didn’t like her and left. But it's these ignorant prejudices that fucking piss me off, people blithely judging others choices, choices THAT DON’T AFFECT ANYONE ELSE!!! Fucking shut the fuck up if you are the sort who holds these sorts of pre-conceived notions of ‘right’ & ‘wrong’ as a god given mandate, and put down your fucking bacon cheese burger heathen!
Ah well, I got side tracked
Fuck it
-De

blargh

training at work means no posts this week, aside from the statement: World of Warcraft is ADD?ICTIVE.

Caffeine.....withdrawal

it’s a little known fact, but caffeine didn’t exist before the early 1500’s. in fact many of the plants we have today didn’t exist then. you see back in those days in it was a virtual garden of eden in the ‘new world’. the only thing people here ate was maize & badgers. but then came the europeans. when the europeans saw this ‘new world’ they decided that it had to go, but first they were going to strip-mine the entire western hemisphere, just to make sure they got all the gold. now this made our leafy neighbors worried (well, as worried as non-sentient life can be). so they started furiously creating new chemical compounds in an olympic effort of darwinism. some of our chlorophyll filled friends went the route of making themselves desired, for example oranges & cantaloupe. due to their campaign of good taste we get along famously. they grow peacefully in our selective breeding programs & we in turn voraciously consume their young.
but not all vegative matter has taken such altruistic paths, some have much more sinister plans for sustained survival. Their nefarious fibrous scientists producing addictive chemicals to enslave the human race, nicotine & caffeine are two prime examples of these dark intents. at one point in time tobacco & the ‘caffeine consortium’ were allies, tobacco would control the northern hemisphere while south of the equator would belong to the ‘caffeine consortium’, however in recent time the caffeine producing plants have decided that all of humanity & the earth should be their domain. using their media juggernaut, the ‘caffeine consortium’ has waged a smear campaign against tobacco. if nothing is done to stop this, tobacco may soon become extinct. and when you couple this with the rate of discovery & implementation of the dark caffeinated plans the entire human race will become enslaved zombies by the year 2137. in fact global warming is part of the ‘caffeine consortiums’ plans to colonize the entire planet & extend the growing season!

a-rambling we-a-go

What does it mean to be human?
Well it means you have genetic coding of homo-sapien-sapien. I think I’m going to refer to us as gay-think-think’s from now on. But anyway many people feel that this does not properly describe us due to our cognitive abilities. So I shall refer to this as the ‘human condition’.
So what does it mean to be part of the human condition?
This is a much more complicated issue. So I’ll start with the self, the part of the human condition, which exists solely within our heads. (now for this I assume that the universe does not need me to exist) We as humans interact with our environment. Through this we gain experience. Now a good starting point is birth, is there a self at birth? If no we are a clean slate (I’m considering the formulative time in the womb negligible), if yes well….. I’m not going to go there it’s too freaky and I don’t really believe in determinism. So we start off with a clean slate so each & every experience at the beginning is forming the self, since there is no self at this point, the self is being made entirely from outside influences being internalized. There is no filter of self to reject excepting through instinctive responses (these are not responses of self but genetic responses (pain=cry)). So the beginning we are learning how to experience the world, how to use our senses. The next phase would be learning how to interact with our world. As we get older our neural pathways become more ‘rigid’ so at some point the self is making a majority of the choices & decisions. The older people get the harder for them to change ideologically it becomes.
Anywho, on with the self. So we start with no self and the self starts off using only outside influences to build, until enough of a base has been formed and self-awareness occurs. The statement ‘I think there for I am’ cannot be applied to an infant but only at some later point in development do we become self-aware. We believe this to be unique in humans. So I will put this as part of the human condition: A: self-aware. (I’m ignoring possibilities of extra-terrestrial intelligence with self-awareness) infants are not part of the human condition. I do not know what age self-awareness starts.
More to come…

Whats in a name?

…well, everything. Something which has been a constant irritant with me is the mutability of language. I say ‘rose’ and I mean ‘wild rose’, I say ‘rose’ you hear ‘red rose’. We seem to constantly under the impression that we all speak the same language, however, every time the subject matter gets heavier than the weather, the first stumbling block is definition. Everyone is convinced that their own definitions are the proper ones. When frequently people are not using words properly, because for many intangible ideas, there are no words. We all just apply the words that we personally, from our understanding, feel are most appropriate. But other people have felt that different words are more appropriate for the same concept. This leads to much confusion in discussions.
And many words have multiple definitions, often with slight, yet impacting differences. So a simple sentence about abstract issues quickly become confused, due to alternate definitions. The REALLY annoys me. Every new person whom you have discussions of a ‘deeper’ nature with, the beginnings are primarily getting used to differing definition sets. We need more words with substance. We have plenty of adjectives though.

Here’s an example

I think therefore I am

I: The self; the ego.
I’ll go the self
So: the self thinks there for the self is

Think:
1:To have or formulate in the mind.
2:To reason about or reflect on; ponder
3:To decide by reasoning, reflection, or pondering.
4:To judge or regard; look upon
5:To believe; suppose
6:To expect; hope
7:To intend
8:To call to mind; remember
9:To visualize; imagine
10:To devise or evolve; invent
11:To bring into a given condition by mental preoccupation
12:To concentrate one's thoughts on

I’ll choose 7 as my definition of think

The self intends therefore the self is.

Is: Third person singular present indicative of be
Be:
1:To exist in actuality; have life or reality
2:To occupy a specified position
3:To remain in a certain state or situation undisturbed, untouched, or unmolested
4:To take place; occur
5:To go or come
6:To equal in identity
7:To have a specified significance
8:To belong to a specified class or group
9:To have or show a specified quality or characteristic
10:To seem to consist or be made of
11:To belong
I’ll take 11
The self intends therefore the self belongs.

Hence, ‘I think therefore I am’ means: ‘I do things so I’ll fit in’.
Now I know I specifically chose definitions that were not intended by the sentence, but if you don’t know which definition someone is using for a word it is easy to misinterpret what someone means.

Ah well
-De

disjointed ramblings

i’m tired, so very tired.
not in the ‘i need more sleep’ fashion, but in the ‘i want to change the world, but i don’t know what to do’ tired. after over a decade of beating my head against the wall of societal injustice & intolerance, i’m ready to throw in the towel.
to go for status quo.
to stop caring.
to give up.

i’ve been reading some other blogs of decent minded individuals, and they have such wonderful ideas. ideas that should work, could work.
but then i’ll look at the comments and see another decent minded individuals response: ‘yes, well, your idea is quaint, but here is what will REALLY work’, and then put an idea forth that could work, should work.
but they are all crap.
why?
because people suck.
the greatest ideas throughout history have all been destroyed or perverted because of this one over-riding factor.

it’s why we can’t say ‘hey, why don’t we pick one of these great ideas and go with it’ instead we say ‘yes, but my idea is better’. FUCK YOU. any idea that has a hope of making the world better should be tried, and even if it fails, at least we tried.
i’m sick of pseudo-intellectuals pissing all over ideas because part of the idea falls into one of their narrowly defined definations of philosophical ideology. ‘oh no, that won’t work that’s just MARXISM!’ as if every word marx ever said has to be wrong.
any new idea at this point in human social evolution EVERY idea must take bits & pieces from other thinkers throughout history.
people seem to forget: every governmental form works ideally in it’s ideal state.
So therefore to make a more perfect government we should not look at the initial idea, the initial idea if decently thought out will work ideally in it’s ideal state. Therefore we must look at any potential ways that human ‘nature’ will tear down this governmental style. Our own American fore-fathers tried unsuccessfully to do this. But hey, we can learn much from their errors.

There has been much shoutings about small communities within communities. This essentially is a concept of forming small tribes, based upon common ideals. The keeping someone within the tribe or ejecting someone from the tribe is a communal decision.

Now some potential failing points of this idea.
First: gaining membership. It feels kinda foolish, though it is not.
Second: decisions: unanimous vote or majority vote?
Third: rules for ‘membership’ yes? no? maybe?

Ah well
A little jumpy today

-De