December 24, 2004

x-mas eve

Well here i be, x mas eve starting my first foray into the realm of blogging, a shout into the void. blindly hoping god will exist to hear. but sadly the shout fails to even echo.

ah well, whatever,
now is the time i rant...and rave.
x mas, people have complained about it louder and better than i will here, oh well, i hate the god forsaken holiday. americans are fucked. there really is no other way to put it. we have this 'holiday', which is pretending to be the birthday of some dead guy (who may or may not have existed). and here's the kicker , even if dead guy did exist, scholars pretty much agree, dec 25th is nowhere near dead guy's birth day. so we are celebrating a potentially fictional dead guy's un-birthday. WTF? so, why are we supposed to give everyone gifts on dead guys un-birthday? i've figured out why we kill a tree, and dress it like a wooden hooker. revenge. since dead guy got nailed to a tree, once a year we get a tree and kill it. slowly. the star at the top is to torture it further, a shocking reminder of the immolation it will suffer after death(this goes against everything tree's believe, the tree equivalent of calling auschwitz a snack bar). the lights on trees & shrubs outside? you guessed it an ongoing reign of terror against our woodsy neighbors. it is a little known fact that humans didn't start making things out of wood, nor burn it, until after dead guy's tree excursion.

ah well i'm out for now
-DeHuman8

1 comment:

TwistedNoggin said...

As a Christian who takes no part in christmas, I must say yours is the one of the best defenses I've heard for the holiday. Instead of pretending the traditionally pagan symbols are somehow related to "the dead guy", you emphasise the tree-killing as revenge.
personally, I'm a tree-hugging nature lover, but after all the frickin snow mother-nature dumped on us lately, I'm ready for a mutany!
(Although I still insist it is not Nature's fault, but my niece's)